Editor’s note: This week we welcome Rev. Dr. Katherine Raley Alexander (she/her) as our guest. Katherine is the Director of Alumni and Church Relations at Lexington Theological Seminary in Lexington, Kentucky. Some of her identities include preacher, teacher/student, fundraiser, peer group coordinator, church member, mom, stepmom, and wife. All of these identities and more inform her desire to see faith inter-stitched with supportive community and greater awareness of money narratives.
Money = Security?
“How did you get comfortable talking about money?” Emma asked me on our networking phone call. She’s a pastor applying for a fundraising position with a church denominational ministry, and a mutual friend had “set us up” to talk together before her interview, since I am also a pastor and work in fundraising for a denominational seminary.
That question might be the boiled-down version of what all other church-and-money questions come to. Ministers and churchgoers alike at least think questions, even if they do not ask them out loud. For instance, “Are ministers supposed to deal with money? Is ‘stewardship’ just a church word for fundraising? Isn’t fundraising just guilting people into giving their money away?”
Some churchgoers do say things like, “I wish my pastor talked about money more.” (I promise, someone has said that very sentence to me.)
Where did this discomfort, this inclination to be suspect when pairing church and money, come from?
Some of it might have to do with the TV evangelists that seem to mostly be scamming well-intentioned people out of money for their own purposes. Some of it might have to do with the fact that churches are made of humans, and humans are fallible. People place enormous trust and hope in church. When that trust is abused, the hurt feels multiplied because it was in a place of faith.
But mostly, the story of money in the church isn’t only shaped by church. The story of money in the church is shaped by the story of money in the rest of our lives – our culture, our society. The very framework we know is there but is really hard to feel any hope of changing, because it is just so central to our lives.
If we want church to impact our daily living, money has to be part of it.
We want church to make our daily lives better. We want to be better people; we want the world to be more loving and for our systems to reflect the justice that we believe God wants for God’s people.
But how? How do we get more comfortable talking about money? How do we get past the shame and defensive walls that seem to be built of some indestructible, impenetrable material whenever the topic of how someone “spends their money” comes up?
In fundraising, we ask people for their money. In the best kind of fundraising, we ask them if their passion and interests align with the mission for which we are asking their money.
We ask them to be in community with us. For us to share resources with one another. They have money. We represent the organization addressing the problem, the mission. We need their money to achieve the mission. Do they need the organization to achieve their purpose, their mission, their values?
That last question seems to be the one we aren’t answering well as a society. People must first have an understanding of what their “mission” is. And then they must understand how an organization’s mission and values are addressing their concerns.
Security and connection
We understand people better – and we understand many of the stories around money in the Bible better – if we understand that the needs for security and connection drive people. The two are often synonymous.
People – people who give money away, certainly – must feel connected. They must have a sense that putting their resources “here” will help them achieve their mission in a way that another use does not. And that mission almost always, at its root, is to feel connected. Because connected = secure.
We achieve that feeling in different ways, with better and worse outcomes.
Sometimes we feel “connected” by having things that other people have (material belonging). Sometimes we feel connected by being included. Sometimes we feel connected by being able to make a difference.
When we are connected to others, our brains understand that we are “secure.” Safe. Everything will be ok.
Of course, there are different messages that we have internalized about what feels secure. About what freedom and safety look like.
The world uses the message of “money” to tap into that feeling. The market says that money = freedom. Money = security. Money = respect and connection.
And we know that it does not. In the church we have another story.
People are security. Connection is freedom. Sharing is respect and connection.
The church needs to talk about money in the context of faith. Because “money” is the world’s message of connection and security. And we need to help people understand there is more to the equation. Money and church are not oppositional to one another, but they need to be in relationship to one another for church to influence money according to God’s desire for loving connection.
Money in context
So, how did I get comfortable talking about money? I learned about its importance to our faith and putting daily life in the context of the need for connection and security. I read about money and faith a lot, including an email newsletter that puts fundraising in the context of people and true relationship. In other words, I have tried surrounding myself with “money” in a way that puts it in the context that feels right to me.
I’m still not “comfortable” talking about money in every situation. I’m a perfectionist at times, and I hold myself back by not wanting to put people’s defenses up while I’m fundraising for a specific thing. People want to protect their money. They don’t want to tell me the full story of their money-lives, the guilt they have over the ways they spend their money, or the reasons they don’t feel comfortable giving to the organization. Sometimes (often) they don’t know where these feelings come from. I certainly don’t.
But I know that believing in good causes or the mission of my organization doesn’t feel dirty to me. It doesn’t feel like I’m trying to guilt them out of their money. I truly believe that their lives would improve if they were able to put their resources into a cause they care about – into something that connects them to the community. Because connection = security. And that is where God works God’s wonders.
